10 Minutes Break

They got a new episode of the Shan + Rozz Show on clicktvnetwork! I thought it stopped airing because the new episode was so long in coming since the previous one. Anyway, it is one of the few shows that I'd actually bother to watch. Why don't they have something like that on national TV instead of some stupid things like Paris & Milan or whatever. And I totallllly hate drag. Not that it's not funny, but Mediacorp over-uses it, and it's simply not funny when they do it. Then again, they probably can't do the same content on National TV. =D It's their irreverent fun that makes it all so entertaining.

My Favourite Shan & Rozz Show Episodes:

There are some ups and downs, like the quality of the epsiodes is not that consistent yet, but I do enjoy seeing the people that they interview. Plus the casual mood is very engaging. Shan & Rozz have great chemistry as hosts. And they interview the wierd guy Dr Date. Loved that interview too, but not the guy. Definitely NO! But it was exceedingly illuminating. I should perhaps declare. I'm exceedingly biased in this regard. I think he's shallow. Period. No...make that VERY shallow, and TOO self-absorbed. Period.

The Shan and Rozz Show: EP8 - The Transsexual

The Shan and Rozz Show: EP6 - The Sex Shop Owner

And this is the new episode. Enjoyable overall. =D

The Shan and Rozz Show: EP10 - The Magician

SR EP10 - The Magician from clicknetwork.tv 2 on Vimeo.

But I couldn't

Resist myself from writing this! Haha...

My last two entries went

(1) If only I could...

(2) And I should...

(3) But I couldn't...

Resist filling in the last part. LOL.

*super waste time* Can't help myself and my degenerating mind.

Time for some major enrichment this December. It's long overdue.

Going back to ponder the mysteries of trying to balance the Income Tax Adjustments.

(OS: why are we so caught up in the littlest trivialities of our every day lives... I don't mind paying just a flat 20% Income Tax if it'll spare me the trouble of doing all these calculations. Make life easier for everyone la. It's just simple administrative matters, why create trouble for yourself and reduce productivity? I simply don't get it. Then again, it will probably put half of the IRAS staff and local accountants out of job if such tax calcuations aren't so complicated. May be that was the whole intention. Job creation and specialization)

Incidentally, while we are on that matter, I found the discussion on job creation and destruction in a market economy in the book "The Economic Naturalist" quite interesting. Comes in bite sized 1-2 page short snippets, but it does bring a certain perspective to things. Makes you think.

And I should

Stop spamming my own blog.

But of course, there are many other things that I should be doing, ... and I haven't got around to doing them yet anyway. What's difference does one more thing make? Probably delete all these spam entries or put them back in private after the exams. Too much of myself out in public for my own liking. That's why I usually never blog/ facebook about what I did, about people I know etc.

But for now... I JUST WANNA GET OVER THIS TWO WEEKS.
Have never been that depressed or repelled by studying in my lifetime.
I almost get an adverse physical reaction everytime I see my books.
Knowing that there's one thick pile of things to study but not finishing them.

How thick? I counted 4 2.5/3-inches ring files and another 13+ bound books (about 1.5 cm each). And worst thing is it's not just about reading. The thinking is just killing me (stupid tax, stupid conflict). I should stop killing trees and harming the earth.  It's the only responsible thing to do. I'm not going to print out my readings next semester anymore. And what I don't see, I won't read.

P.S. I still love conflict by the way. JUST NOT STUDYING FOR EXAMS.

oh grow up.

i'm going to get into my i-hate-the-smu-system mode. and don't even get me started on the need for compulsory internships again.

and i'm about 90% certain that i want to drop my second degree, because i can get a second degree anytime i want, but i can't get a second life.

let the 90% and 10% battle it out over this December.

and pls remind me again that sunk cost should not feature in your decision making process.
it should not.
no.

should not. remember that.

...even if it's a heavy heavy sunk cost. that is totally sunk. the titanic kinda sunk.
leave the ship people. it's over. and don't keep looking back.
there's no more treasure.
James Cameron and the film crew took it, remember?

If Only I could

write this well:

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?v=info&edit_info=all&ref=nur#/notes/edward-lam/-/205325982227

Director Edward Lam's Comment on Yi Chen (Ariel)

I love the way he uses his words. Pity I can't just pluck them off and paste them here to savour. Should go back to reading chinese books this december. There's a beauty in that language that gets lost in translation. I think it's one of the most emotionally in-tune languages... at least of the three that I know.

Think I should start by attempting 红楼梦 again. I was super bored of it the only time I tried, but there must be a reason why it's a classic right? I probably don't have the literary foundation to appreciate it. I've always been averse towards reading classics, totally not my style. Never really liked many classics ~ call me unlearned. I can't get past a few chapters at the most before I grow bored thinking why would people even want to spend so much time writing it if i won't even bother to spend 1/100 of the time to read it. It's amazing how differently people's  minds work. I'm more of a non-ficiton person myself. Or if I must really read fiction, then it will be more science/fantasy/romance fiction. Fiction to me is just to indulge in feelings and desires. Non Fiction is where I can be engaged intellectually. So somehow, the idea of classics... just bores me endlessly. Especially because I'm not a history kinda person as well probably.

Self Pity (Part 2)

This exam is giving me more pimples than it's worth.
Well, may be not more than what it's worth... but still, it's a lot.

Edit: and i just realised i broke my record on this blog for the most number of entries written in a month. hip hip horray! *roll eyes*

Self Pity (just shoot me, i'm going to die anyway when results come back)

Sigh, I keep coming here to listen to 苏慧伦's 少了点什么~ Should ban myself from my own blog. I even started editing the template when I've been procrastinating for almost a year. To stop myself from playing Travians, I've locked my account for one week. Farmville, I've planted watermelons to occupy lots for 4 days. Restaurant City, doors are closed. AsianFanatics, I've logged out so that I can't post (although I still read once in a while). Never even watch KangXi for one whole week. I've stopped myself from watching MoMo Love and Hai Pai Tian Xin. Now only watching Autumn's Concerto.

The most ironic thing is I've never ever so diligently played online games until these 2 weeks. Stupidest random online games. The more I sit in front of my computer to attempt to study, the more I keep going to do all these random things because I don't want to study. And still, I'm not getting my studying done. Keep falling asleep. And even I can't prevent my mind from floating away.

Super super burnt out this semester. I don't even want to study at all. Probably the first time it ever happened. And the worst thing is, next semester would be worse. Regardless, I should plan to avoid another hell week(s). 4 research papers and 4 presentations in 2 weeks are no laughing matter. I know it's partly my fault for doing last minute work~ but hey, that's my habit. I always do last minute work. I just need to arrange it so that my deadlines are spaced out. For one, the whole readings for that 2 weeks and the week before and after those hell weeks are completely messed up. Then no energy to pay attention in class at all. Then after that, i just want to nuah ~ don't feel like studying anymore.

Actually, this brings to mind a joke. My grades will *touchwood* maintain above sea level. Else, I can't do shipping law. C-level, sea-level... haha. that's so not funny. Inspired by one of my favourite profs...whose paper incidentally i believe i'll do very badly for. But of course, I also believe very firmly in miracles. Especially during exam time.

Daul Kim

She's a Korean International Model. Rather young. 20 I think. Didn't know of her until today. Apparently she committed suicide. RIP.

Here's her blog: I LIKE TO FORK MYSELF

And I read through the entries.

She's a smart, sharp, candid and rather thoughtful lady. Would have loved to meet her myself. And i wonder to myself, what would make someone so young and so full of possibilities commit suicide, when only a few days ago, she'd been writing of how she'd make a good wife.

It's sad, but beyond that, I'm not going to make my guess on the reasons out of a respect to her, particularly because I really know nothing about her. But something about this whole process from the time I came across the news was bothering me. It took a while, but I've managed to figure out some inkling of the thread which my mind was getting caught in.

It's a strange world today. Never had we, at any other point in history, been exposed to so much of people's thoughts. It's both wierd and wonderful having these records in the abyss of the world wide web. Somehow, this brings to mind the image of the outerspace. The endless and infite gravity-free space. Where things just exist, sometimes in places difficult to map or perhaps coordinates without points of references. Instead of asteroids, these are records about people's thoughts, images, and their feelings.

Then one day, the person leaves.

And these records remain for others to make sense of them, or not. And these information & records will continue to exist even if no one comes across them or if people forgot about them after a few years.

Incidentally, this brings to mind the question that I've once read, if you were counting in your head from 1-100, and somehow you died in the midst of it, and if no one else knew about the point which you've counted until, does such a point exist? I mean it isn't exactly relevant here, but still... until someone calls up the information to display on your web-browser, all we have are binaries ... without anyone to interpret them and give them meaning.

In the past, the access to such private information was perhaps limited to the very few, who were their close families or friends. And they had their tangible existence in books, journals, photographs etc. Today, these are imprints on a global web-scape/ mindscape. Your thoughts are no longer your private information within your control once you've put them out onto the web. They have an existence of their own, and they can spread virally. We are the new generation where these become the possibilities.

I wonder what will happen if the facebook, blogging generation grows old, and some die (with or without growing old)... and then....? What happens ten or twenty years down the road? You are going to be left with a lot of empty shells, inactive blogs, facebook accounts and portfolios which are private remains of these individuals.

I have in the previous few months come across facebook profiles of people dead... and friends continue to write to them, as though they existed. Along with all the hugs, loves and kisses. Videos and thought-you'll-be-interested notes... It probably offered those left behind some solace. Is it some kind of existence? Because this is more than words, more than photos... it's about a record of people's thoughts and emotions. When you come to my blog, this is my universe. This is my sounding board. This is where I speak to myself and people who might pop by. I share more on here than I ever tell anyone face to face, even with my family. Isn't this a rather special piece of my heart? I suppose you could say the same about books, but it doesn't engage people with the same degree of interactivity. Books were never seen as a platform for social interaction. Blogs, Facebooks, Twitter are the very foundation of our social interactions today.

I wonder what will happen because I think this new generation of people, and the role of social interactions in this technological landscape could potentially change our understanding of life and death. I want to think more about it when my exams are done.

When can i...

• put all these behind me and leave?
• travel all around the world with a journal & a camera?
• eat a proper chocolate buffet?
• watch my first ever professional musical/ play?
• take a long distance train journey and just watch the awesome scenery?
• just grab a very very nice book, get a mug of hot chocolate (in a nice and cold weather, like now... i hate it when the weather is perfect for cuddling in the bed during mugging week) and just snuggle into bed?
• indulge in an awesome spread of thai crusine. Miss thailand loads? (best place to eat)

Before Sunrise:

photo source

For now, I'll settle with a good steamboat. in my dreams.

If wishes were kisses (it rhymes), my lips would be sore.

Transition...Or Evolution?

Got the pic off the net, but I don't know who's the original creator. (and i meant the original creator of the picture, ... not the man, that will taking the evolution analogy a bit too extreme. Not that there hasn't been people who said otherwise...)

The Change Toothpaste

As a side note, I came across this giant toothpaste saving box (i think) some time ago. I took a photo of it because it was just so surreal to see that amongst all the stickers/ plastic toys in the middle of a pasar-malam. Ties in with the whole Darkie history of the toothpaste. I should read up more about the history of that toothpaste actually, when I have time. It's quite interesting. Finding myself becoming more interested in the whole discourse on race in the American History. Brings to mind another product too: Famous Amos.

Found in Clementi and I'm sure the many more temporary locations that this stall owner will be visiting.

【首播完整版】苏慧伦/ 蘇慧倫 - 少了点什么

Thanks to JunHao for updating!!! I hadn't realised... =D Oh my god...so happy. I know she was famous for ya zi, lemon tree etc, but it is only in the more recent years, and her more recent songs that I actually fell in love with her. The quality of her CDs in the more recent years are very good. Her last CD 《左撇子 旋转门》was one of my favourite CDs in a quite a long while. 很随意, 很舒服. 很耐听. There's a certain understated elegence in the songs. Even the sad songs have a 淡淡忧伤, and without having to shout out your sadness explicitly, there's the palpable weight of the emotions attached to it. Effortlessly carries your mood along with it. Hope the new CD comes out soon (and comes to Singapore soon)~

As a side note, youtube changed its video formatting/ embedding a while ago. I don't know what they did, but now I can't download with my RealPlayer anymore. Like tudou first and now youtube... whywhywhy....